Because my BangHim feels have been.... idk where they are now and I just /insert ugly crying/ miss theeeeemmmmm
A super belated happy birthday to these two ^^
The tension was almost palpable. Himchan didn't know if he's the only one who can feel it. But it's there, like a thick concrete wall that cannot be broken down.
He must be crazy to have placed it there. For a good reason, yes. But it's gonna drive him insane.
Himchan saw one of the younger boys hovering around the eldest, unperturbed that the rapper wasn't saying anything despite shooting himself as he ate. Typical Daehyun attitude, he's still chattering behind the other without really asking for a conversation.
Himchan felt a twinge of something he didn't want to think about, something he's pushing away because it's misplaced. He envied the freedom his dongsaeng had, without a thought for the consequences of his actions. Especially around the leader. Or really, just around the leader.
He almost laughed at that. It's his own fault he's in this situation.
The higher ups had given them a warning, him and Yongguk. There had been too much screentime wherein they were into themselves. It was making things too obvious, putting them at a slight disadvantage.
Because of this, Himchan decided to set a boundary for himself. All he had to do was stay away from the other. Ever since the preparation for the latest promotion, he made it his habit to give space. For Yongguk to think, to create. Heaven knows they needed his talent very much. And Himchan didn't want to be a bother. He knew if he just did this staying-away-to-give-space thing, he'd get used to it even in front of the camera.
Hanging out mostly with Jongup had helped, too. It didn't feel like a burden, like how it did with the leader.
But moments like this make it harder for him to just be satisfied with watching.
He noticed Daehyun taking the camera and spotting the working stream. He watched as the singer handed it back and the older resumed his silent eating program.
He hesitated, torn between going near or staying where he was. It wasn't like that was gonna cause a scandal. He was just gonna go over and talk like how they normally do on camera. Wouldn't hurt a bit, right?
That moment was taken advantage by one of their stylists though, coming close and commenting about something he was wearing. Or was it about something he was to wear? He didn't hear, really. His attention was still on their leader.
Thankfully, the stylist kept it short and soon walked away.
Himchan didn't fight it anymore and went over, mentally reminding himself not to go overboard. He set his phone down on the table. Hand on the back of the chair, the other on the table. Not too close, but close enough to be seen in the video, he bent down next to Yongguk, and caught a hint of cologne the other wore. It was that cologne he gave, one that gave off a subtle, musky scent. And it hit him hard right where he wasn't supposed to be affected. He tried hard not to glance at the other's direction because of this. He didn't want to be obvious, and he wasn't being minded anyway.
He could see the rapper's nape in his peripheral vision, and the temptation to touch was great. Just how fair and smooth his nape was, how Himchan's fingers would usually brush over that area.
He almost did, if Daehyun had not peered down at the screen. Himchan inwardly shook himself and focused his attention on the rolling comments. It wasn't like Yongguk was going anywhere. Try to act normal just a little.
The amount of birthday greetings earned his attention, and made him smile. He straightened a little to check his phone (to push Daehyun away, truthfully) and caught sight of Yongguk offering food to the camera. Babo, he thought with just a little affection before bending down again.
Because the timing was right (or just a little awkward), he thanked the fans who greeted him. Daehyun spouted something again but he didn't hear. Because Yongguk finally noticed him.
"Ah right. Today's your birthday."
Daehyun laughed in response as Himchan made a noncommittal sound. It should hurt how the rapper forgot, but Himchan let it go. Especially with that cute, guilty-slash-sheepish expression he's making, as seen through the screen.
Himchan pulled himself together quickly though, before that could distract him, and thanked the fans again, throwing an extra heart sign.
Yongguk spoke then, saying how he was just eating on his birthday. Himchan wasn't sure but there might have been disappointment in the other's tone.
He nodded, because he didn't know what to say. Because it was fine as he understood that the other was busy, more so than the rest of them. Because it was Yongguk and it was enough that he was there on his birthday. He added a soft thanks as he crouched but he wasn't sure if it was for the fans or for the other.
Just a little longer more beside him, Himchan thought as he patted down his hair and checked his look. Yongguk spoke again about the location they were in. Just for the sake of saying something, the second eldest pointed out that they were to start in a few minutes. He threw a random thanks again and a flying kiss when Yongguk didn't say anything anymore. He must have overstayed his welcome beside the leader already.
Himchan reluctantly got to his feet, and took his phone. He wanted to do more next to the other, to show to the people that on this special day, their leader was enough for him.
But of course, he can't. With a heavy sigh, he walked away, vaguely hearing a husky "bye" in the background.
This was familiar to him. The heat, the blinding lights, the deafening screams, the beats that thrum through his body. In front of all their loyal fans, this was where they all belong.
Throwing up his arms and nodding his head to the rhythm, his mouth moved with familiarity when it was his turn to sing. The energy was up; everybody was jumping and dancing to the lively music. Everything was where they were supposed to be, and nothing could possibly throw him off onstage.
A movement caught his eye and Himchan turned just in time to witness the eldest strip off his shirt.
He nearly forgot himself then. Where he was, why he was there, how he got there. Because the image of Yongguk's tattooed physique was all he could see. The intricate markings on his chest and arm stood out against pale skin as their leader moved and danced infront of fans going crazy. At that moment, Himchan understood what they were feeling. He wanted to go crazy, too. It's been so long since...
With great difficulty, he tore his eyes away from that inviting sight. They still had a concert to finish and it wasn't the time for him to get carried away. A different kind of heat had risen inside him though, one that he'd probably need to take care of later... alone again...
But opportunity seemed to tease and present itself to him. He spotted Yongguk walking over in his topless glory, giving out fanservice as if it was natural for him to do (it wasn't before, really).
Himchan tried to ignore it. It's not like it's the first time he's seen it. They were usually topless back at home or in their hotel rooms, when it's not too cold. It wasn't the first time he'd seen, and certainly won't be the last time. Yongguk's body doesn't even change that much, given that his weight doesn't drastically fluctuate.
However, every nerve in Himchan's body seemed to be demanding him to go over and just... feel. It's been so long since he last touched the other intimately. It wouldn't hurt to lay a hand on Yongguk's shoulder, right?
Just when it felt like fire was running in his veins, Himchan took that first crucial step toward the rapper. Yongguk had already stopped, set a foot on a speaker, and remained there. It was as if the other was also waiting for him to go closer.
Which Himchan eventually did, with sure steps now. He saw how Yongguk's sweat beaded all over his torso and how his hair was damp with it. He was basically sweat all over, crystalline drops sliding down on skin that would probably be hot to touch. And the rapper looked sexy as hell.
So Himchan did what his instinct told him that moment. He paused next to the eldest, his chest next to a bare shoulder, and laid a warm hand on Yongguk's stomach. He felt the other's slight intake of breath but neither looked at other. He didn't want to know how Yongguk reacted to what he did. Not now, at least.
Just a split second touch, and Himchan was soon trudging farther. He could still feel the heat from Yongguk's body in his palm. How strange that it felt like a promise of something more later. But he has to remind himself that the more has to be done alone, right?
It took awhile for Himchan to convince the younger guys that it was time to rest. No, it wasn't the time for drinking and celebrating. Not yet anyway. They still had other shows to do and every free time is precious time to sleep.
Yongguk was nowhere to be found after dinner. Himchan didn't think much about it as the eldest would often disappear, in need of some alone time. Probably working on some unfinished projects as well. He was trusted enough to get himself back to his room and get some well deserved sleep.
For certain, that won't be any time soon though. Himchan had enough time to deal with some, er, unaddressed issues from earlier on.
He didn't bother with the lights upon entering his and Yongguk's shared room, and headed straight for his bed. Pulling off his shirt, he tried to remember where he left his phone, when something grabbed him around the waist.
He nearly fell down on the bed in surprise, letting out a curse, before being pulled up back by his jeans. It took several owlish blinks before realizing it was Yongguk standing in front of him, grinning with fingers hooked inside his pants.
A fist shot out and hit the rapper squarely on the chest. Yongguk stumbled back, coughing and chuckling at the same time, as Himchan stood with his hands on his hips.
"What the hell's wrong with you," he snapped at the other.
"Didn't mean to scare you." Yongguk sat on the edge of his bed. "Thought you knew I was here."
Then it dawned on him that he was standing topless in front of the other, just like how the other was earlier. And Yongguk was just grinning at him, leaning back with hands resting on the bed.
Good thing there was not much lighting or the other would have seen the pinkish shade that would surely be tinting Himchan's face and neck. Not the best time to be reminded that he can still blush like some teenager. Avoiding Yongguk's stare, he grabbed his shirt and made a beeline for the bathroom.
"Whoa, right there." Long, slender fingers trapped his wrist and pulled him right back. "Where d'ya think you're going?"
"A bath would be nice right now." Himchan retorted, consciously trying to make an effort not to cover his torso. Not exactly the right time to feel shy and demure. "It's been a long day, Yongguk."
"I know, I know." The other stood up and moved closer. "But I know something else that would be nice."
Himchan almost protested in irritation, but Yongguk chose that time to press his mouth on the other's. All words left him as he stood still, unable to process what was going on. Yongguk's lips were still as soft as the last time they kissed, his breath warm against the other's cheeks. When was the last time he had felt this?
When Yongguk pulled away after a moment, it was with a sigh. His hands came up to frame Himchan's cheeks as they gazed at each other.
"I've ignored you for awhile, haven't I?" The older guy asked softly.
Himchan shook his head. "It doesn't matter."
"It does. I'm sorry." Yongguk brushed his lips over the other's cheeks, forehead and nose. "Happy birthday, love."
"My birthday's over." Nevertheless, Himchan's hands came up to cover the ones that were holding him, as his eyes fluttered close. Yongguk's lips were light and gentle as it showered feathery kisses over his face.
"Earlier on," Yongguk murmured, "it took so much in me not to take you away. When you touched me like that."
Himchan glanced at him, and spotted a glint in the other's eyes that had sparking something in him.
Yongguk pressed another kiss, more insistent this time. "Tonight's ours, alright?"
Not that that needed more convincing for either of them. Hands immediately found buttons and clothes to undo and push off. Fair skin met pale skin that had waited for quite some time to be touched, caressed and stimulated. The tastes and sounds were both familiar and new, always welcomed and wanted. Both pair of eyes were locked on each other's, and that was all that mattered.
As the night deepened, the heat only grew stronger and more demanding, in between whispered exchanges of promises and desires.
The first thing Himchan wanted to do when he saw the other members was to beat the hell out of them. The next was to run, hide and forget everything about being an idol.
Daehyun and Youngjae kept on snickering whenever they looked at him. Jongup was acting a little awkward around him; Junhong was pretending too hard to be interested in something in his phone. Himchan glanced over at their leader, but Yongguk was too busy checking things with the managers and staff. When he turned back to the others, he caught sight of the punch that Jongup gave Daehyun as Youngjae snickered again.
He somehow understood already but... how did it get out? The hotel walls weren't that thin, right?
Because he was the only logical person to approach, he walked over to Junhong, who was still oddly transfixed at his phone screen.
"Should... I know something?" He hissed.
Much to his surprise, Junhong almost choked on his own saliva. He cleared his throat before leaning in to whisper in his hyung's ear.
"Don't forget to lock the door next time, Hyung."
Himchan suddenly wished the ground would swallow him up whole.
Wow. I hope that was okay. Hahaha /dies